Differences in Sex Addiction: Gender and Sexual Orientation

Working in the field of Sex Addiction and through my experience directing and running a treatment program for Compulsive Sexual Behaviors in a residential treatment setting, I have observed differences in the population overtime.  The two significant differences I would like to touch on today, not the only differences but simply two that I have observed more frequently is gender and sexual orientation.

Gender: Women and Sex Addiction.

According to Dr. Patrick Carnes, 3% of the total U.S. population are female sex addicts, a number that seems very low to me.  Elements to consider in this statistic are as follows; many women are more likely to stay silent about their sex addiction as I believe women have a greater vulnerability and stronger tendency to feel a larger amount of shame and stigma about being sexually addicted.  It is important to note that in my experience with assessment and treatment, females are not only addicted to love and relationships which is a common conceptualization but also present addiction criteria to pornography, compulsive masturbation and engagement in anonymous sex.  The difficulty in the presentation of sex addiction in females is that it may be imbedded in more “acceptable” forms of addiction such as substance use or eating disorders, an element that is referenced as “masking”, a dimension in the theory of an addiction interaction disorder.  The different categories of Sex Addiction that I have observed in the female population are as follows:

• Love and/or Relationship Addiction – Obsession with and constantly seeking exhilarating sexual experiences.  They are preoccupied with fantasy, romance and intrigue which drives their behavior. They will seek but never find.
• The Female Cybersex Addict – Viewing and masturbating to internet pornography (photos or videos), membership in cyber affair sites (AshleyMadison.com), seeking sex through personal sex ads (Craigslist), and participating on sex-related chat sites.
• Many sex workers are also sex addicted however there needs to be care in diagnosing.
• Sexual Anorexia – Acting out in binge/purge cycles whereby a woman might have sex uncontrollably for an extended period of time, and then shutdown sexually by avoiding all forms of sexual expression and activity.

Note that these are just some of the differences I have observed when assessing a population presenting in a residential setting for Sex Addiction.  For further information on treating female Sex and Love Addicts, please refer to the book Making Advances.

Sexual Orientation: Gay Men and Sex Addiction.

Gay men in Sex Addiction is a population that I see growing with specific treatment settings that specialize in this area on the rise such as Blue Tiger Recovery and the treatment of Chem-Sex.  Elements that are important to note in this population that I have observed are as follows:

• It is important to NOT use hetero-normative expectations when treating gay men, ex., expectations about monogamy.
• For many gay men, higher levels of sexual activity are a conscious and/or political expression of self-determination.
• For gay men seeking monogamous, long term relationships, fewer role models in the community of successful long-term pairings are present.
• Sexual compulsions can be as destructive to intimacy and satisfying sexual connections as in any population.  Much research is lacking for the LGBTTIQQ2SA* communities evidencing sexually compulsive behaviors.

For a more comprehensive conceptualization of this population look at the book written by Dr. Rob Weiss, Cruise Control: Understanding Sex Addiction in Gay Men.

Mike Quarress CSAT-S