Building a Culture of Support: Group Therapy

Today I would like to address one of the cornerstones of recovery and the importance of group therapy.  I can’t emphasize enough the significance of co-regulation and its benefits to building intimacy and healthy relational skills for those who have struggled to build positive connections and lasting bonds as I have observed in many struggling with sex addiction.  Built into the Task Model used as guidelines of the treatment process, specifically task 7, involves building a culture of support.  What this implies is simply including others as support in your process of recovery, I like to acknowledge here the element of moving away from the belief that “my needs won’t be met if I have to rely on others” to a new healthy belief that “I can rely on others for support” and finally to the reliance of others being crucial to sustaining recovery and building intimacy and connection.  Imagine how lonely it can be to truly believe that you can not rely on anyone for support, I see this countlessly in my clients and the intense emotions and destructive behaviors that pursue from such a narrative.  Group therapy can be the place where you begin to change that pattern of isolation that leads to loneliness, and it helps you to begin to connect to others in an authentic way by simply easing that sense of loneliness common in the people who struggle with addiction. For most sex addicts, early relationships are where the trauma happened that created the addictive coping process. It makes sense that nurturing relationships of a healthy group can heal these wounds. It creates a place where you can have the corrective experiences needed to help move you to avoid repeating unhealthy relationship patterns.  The idea of attending a group therapy session can be a significant hurdle to overcome, simply sharing your story and risking intimacy may seem outright terrifying and impossible.  Those who develop the courage to move through and beyond these fears learn that by sharing and listening to others allows for an opportunity to connect as one experiences the concept of being authentic and a sense of belonging; leading to connection and as stated by many, “I am not alone”.  This realization can be one of the turning points for many as I have observed the relief as this statement is followed by tears expressed in the many groups that I have facilitated.  It can be such a powerful moment not only for those specific individuals but for others in the group who have experienced such relief and for those yearning for the same experience.  This is such a powerful moment of connection that can only be experienced in a group setting.  I have spent countless sessions in these moments of stillness, observing the power of the group as they all celebrate the strength and courage to connect and bond, words can not describe these moments though celebrated and shown by expressions of relief and smiles of joy.

A professionally guided therapy group for sex addiction helps you attain the support, guidance and knowledge that is needed. A trained therapist guides the group in a positive direction that promotes change for all who attend and will know how to guide the group members to support each other in the process of connection and established cohesion.  Having the group led by a CSAT (Certified Sex Addiction Therapist) is essential, as they are trained in the area of sexual addiction and understand the nuances of treatment and recovery.

I have always loved the acronym HOW (Honest, Open and Willing).  Simply put, as you attend the group and most importantly participate, make sure you are Honest about what is going on for you, be Open to the support of the group and be Willing to let others guide you and oftentimes love you through your struggles.  Remember, you are worth it!  Lastly, make sure to give it some time, it takes a few sessions to get comfortable and understand the process of group therapy. If you feel uncomfortable or it seems at first that the group is not a good fit for you, make a commitment to yourself to attend for a few weeks at least before deciding what you want to do. In most cases I have observed, likely by that time, you will not only understand the power of the group but also feel that sense of connection we all yearn for yet struggle to find and have often ventured to unhealthy and unsafe places to get.

For more information on the significance of the group process, listen to this Podcast.

If you are looking for a group to join and ready to take that next step in your recovery, here is a link to groups run by myself and a colleague of mine who is also a CSAT working in the field.

Mike Quarress CSAT-S