Many clients that I work with on a daily basis present with issues of exhaustion, helplessness and some element of defeat as clearly I am observing the symptoms of a disempowered individual who is sitting in front of me. Slouched over, sitting heavy in the chair, these individuals are lost, state “hopelessness” and often acknowledge “there’s nothing I can do about it”. I have found that for those that are in a reactive state, such as the majority of clients that I treat, moving from reactive to more of a responsive state is the way to empowerment. So one might ask, how does one move from React to Respond?
–From VICTIM to RESPONSABILITY:
The VICTIM often appears powerless and hopeless, may often blame others and use such statements like “It’s not fair.” “It’s not my fault.” “I’m stuck.” “There’s nothing I can do about it.”
The individual that moves to RESPONSIBILITY often is able to take responsibility for their life and shares statements such as “I have a voice and can consider my needs. I can make choices.”
–From DENIAL to REALITY:
The individual in DENIAL is often minimizing, ignoring, avoiding, in fantasy, spiritualizing or making excuses. This is often stated as “It’s not that bad.” “Yeah, but…” “I don’t want to go there.”
The individual in REALITY will often acknowledge what’s true with statements like “I got honest with myself and am taking steps to own it and deal with it.”
–From RESCUER to COLLABORATION:
The RESCUER is often enabling, fixing, controlling or people pleasing. Their motive is “I’ll try to manage your issue to reduce my fear, guilt, concern or anxiety to make you happy.”
To work in COLLABORATION is to have shared consideration. This often looks like; “let’s work together. You do your part and I’ll do mine.”
–From OFFENDER to OPTIONS:
The OFFENDER uses anger or inflicts harm. This is presented as “I’ll resort to any means necessary to get what I want.”
Those in the mindset of OPTIONS protect and advocate. They present with statements such as “I’ll look at my choices and opportunities and consider how they impact you, me and others.”
–From ENTITLEMENT to HUMILITY:
The individual in ENTITLEMENT is self-absorbed or in self-righteousness. This is often shared as “I’ll tell you what I want and how to do it. You owe me.” or “I know what’s best.”
The individual choosing HUMILITY has mutual respect. This is often characterized as “I see my part.” “How can I support what you need.”
Mike Quarress CSAT-S
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